I am not opposed to marriage for a few simple reasons. For one, love is a choice. Unpack that cliche little phrase for a moment. To love means to put someone else's needs before your own. It's not about preference (what you want), it's a commitment to love a person. Of course it's going to require sacrifice.
We're consumers. It's what we've been raised to be. We're socialized into seeking after whatever fills our wants and perceived needs. We shop- for the best peanut butter, the best cell phone, the best church, the best boyfriend or girlfriend, the one that gives us attention, that satisfies our desires, whatever those may be. We don't want to be asked to sacrifice our comfort for someone else's needs. But that's exactly what love requires. Otherwise it's just mutual masturbation.
Obviously there's a lot of growth required before marriage vows are taken. But there is just as much growth potential within marriage. And unless the marriage is arranged (or in some other way for economic reasons) people are going to tend to marry someone socially compatible (however you want to define that), that they get along with, that they have things in common with, that they're attracted to, and that love them. It's when expectations enter the picture that things break down. I won't bother to quote the "Love is patient" bible verses, but they're true.
One knows that marriage is a free choice, because that's the definition of that commitment. You're promising to put that person first, as best as you can manage, for the rest of your life. Even if you meet someone more attractive. Even if they hold your career back. Even when you think you'd be happier if you just cut and ran. I'm not talking about being a doormat to abuse, or overlooking affair after affair. Even Jesus made allowance for divorce in those situations, when things become broken beyond repair.
Now, does this always work out? Look at our divorce rate, growing every day, both within the church and without. People can be evil, or just weak. People cheat, or think about cheating. They make mistakes, they can hurt, they can let us down, and we know from experience that most people will do just that at one time or another. If the students you are referring to are going into this thinking marriage is a lifelong honeymoon, then you're right, maybe it will feel like a prison when things get hard. I think a lot of kids get engaged pretty quick, a little naively. But for me, the concept of lifelong monogamous marriage might be the ultimate slap in the face to a culture that teaches us "Life is all about choosing, consuming, throwing away and moving on to the next big thing." Of course, it's all about priorities. If one looks at relationships as primarily avenues for personal fulfillment and development, as transactions to gain happiness and satisfy wants, as any product today advertises itself, then no, marriage is probably the worst idea. If one desires to love and be loved in return, I think marriage is a viable option. Probably not for everyone, but certainly not for no one.
(After I started it just flowed out of me. It wasn't meant as personal commentary on anyway, just generalizations based on what I see and believe. And of course, none of it is really based on experience. I just pasted it in, I'll clean it up later).
