Please don't talk during the movie

Spoiler alert for The Sixth Sense. Yeah, I went there.

Let's be reasonable. If you're going to watch a DVD with some friends, or go to the theater for a new release, there's going to be some people talking. It always happens.

• Some of them are continuing conversations from before the film started.
• Certain films will lend themselves to critique of how far one can suspend his or her disbelief, like a motorcycle-on-fire that jumps a little too far, a strange break in character, or dialogue written by George Lucas.
• Some people will be constantly referencing other films the actors and crew have worked on.
• Some ask way too many loud questions about the plot, like "OMG are they going to fall in love?" or "Is that the same cat from before?" or "Bruce Willis isn't really a ghost, is he?" or "What did he say? I couldn't hear because the person next to me was talking."

Not all of these instances are inappropriate, depending on the film and the timing. A rule of thumb, however, is turn your cell phone off and shut up. Here's why:

Given the benefit of the doubt, films are expressions of art. Like a novel, in the case of narrative films, you're going to have characters, plot, themes, dialogue. A good film will make you care about those characters early on. It doesn't take much; a moment of vulnerability or sentiment might be all. Michael J. Fox just has to appear on screen, and I'd follow him to the ends of the earth. Investing in the characters, combined with other elements, can immerse you in a good film and make you less aware of your immediate surroundings. It sounds corny, but films can make you forget your problems for a couple hours.

Personally, it doesn't take much to get me into a film. I sometimes care about characters that are a little 2-dimensional for other people. I can overlook it if a filmmaker is taking him or herself too seriously. One well-done performance can make me love a film that's weak in other areas: I had a great time with Lady in the Water, for example. I don't think this means I have poor taste; I can recognize a generally good film and a generally bad film. It's just that I'm pretty forgiving, because I'm stubborn in suspending my disbelief. This is why I would not make a good film critic.

*This is where I put on my overly serious face.

When a film has achieved this goal of immersion, which depends on both the film and the viewer, and the experience has become the primary focus, I find a lot of talking, or loud talking, and other unnecessary noise to be distracting and irritating (and not just because I have ADD). I find a good metaphor to be a deep REM sleep. When I'm sleeping and someone speaks loudly nearby, whether intending to wake me or not, I pop out of sleep almost immediately. My first reaction is usually anywhere from minor annoyance to hostility. They might not even be aware I was sleeping, or they might be heavy sleepers and not imagine they have disturbed me. Either way, the effect is the same. They have removed me from the state of sleep, and my focus is now on them, against my will. If they continue to talk or make noise, my focus will probably remain on them. If they continue to talk or make noise after I have gotten up and made them aware they have woken me, then they have prioritized their experience over mine.

The same thing happens to those who appreciate film and other performance or multimedia art. Talking or trying to multitask will most likely break the bubble of immersion for those around you. Depending on their level of patience, they may react negatively, like a peaceful sleeper might when jostled awake. If they ask you amiably to stop distracting them, and you continue, you are prioritizing your experience over that of others. Perhaps you have not fully grasped how you are affecting those around you, but this is still the case. Make sense? I can't tell you how many times the talking in the Union at Messiah has risen above the level of the artists' microphones, detracting from the performance and the experience of the audience. I try to be patient, but I want to yell,

"Could you have this conversation somewhere else? You're being inconsiderate, rude, and disrespectful to us and especially to the musicians,"

or more likely,

"Are you kidding me?! Shut. Up."

But I don't.

I don't think this entry was intended as just a forum for faceless complaint, but to help process some intuitive feelings I have about watching films and performances, or experiencing art in general. I realize that people experience these things differently from me, and that I can take some things too seriously. Often multimedia is just entertainment, and not worth getting worked up about, and most of these feelings are never articulated by the average movie consumer. On top of this, I don't believe art is always logical or objective, just like I don't believe we can prove or disprove the existence of God in any kind of universal logical discourse. I do believe when language falls short to bring seemingly conflicting understandings together, there is often grace in those situations. We can interpret the same reality differently, but not alone, or by compromising others' participation.